The Bright Angels had just lost their war against the Dark over the fate of humankind. They were forced to concede to the Dark side’s plan to give the humans language. They proposed one condition: no pronouns.

Out of the question, protested the Dark Angels. It’s cumbersome to always have to call everything by its name. The humans would drop language entirely, and the Bright side would have won by default.

‘No personal pronouns, then.’

The Dark Angels agreed to remove one (but only one) as a gesture of goodwill.

The Brights chose the first-person singular. I, me, je, moi, yo, ego, etc. If the humans had no egos, perhaps not all would be lost.

All would be lost, as of course you know. It was the Bright side’s fault. One of their own angels, an overly enthusiastic fledgling called God, dropped down to Earth to show off a few Bright party tricks. 

‘Who are you?’ wondered the awestruck humans. 

‘I am that I am,’ he proclaimed. 

The Bright side gasped at the blunder.

But there was no turning back. Ego had wormed its way into the garden of human consciousness. Already it was preparing the soil where the Dark Angels would plant their miracles.

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Would you like to know more about this story? I discuss it in Episode 101 of Structured Visions, You, me and big egos. You can also sign up to the Grammar for Dreamers newsletter to get monthly updates on the ideas that inspire my work.